March 15, 2009

It's been a long and sad week for everyone in my family. Everything happened too fast and too quickly. Even though it was really sad, I realised that my family members stood by each other and everyone helped in whatever they could chip in. Everyone was sad and devastated by nevertheless everyone kept going on and made the funeral a memorable one.

I guess the worse and the saddest part , was seeing the coffin for the last time before it was being sent for cremation. It was really hard for me to face facts that mama was gone. Everything was too sudden. However, there's nothing to be sad now because this is temporary and like what the Uncle Robin said, " This is temporary and we will soon meet again with Mama."

I've told myself that the best thing to do now, is to fulfil as much as I can in life and when my time is up, the reward I'll get is to see Mama again. Despite , having almost everything I want, I can never deny the fact that life's a bitch. Shit happens everyday and to make it worse, at any time of the day. It can happen, when you're having the best time of your life and of course , even at times , when things couldn't get shittier.

But, no matter how shitty it is, I'm taking it in my stride. I'm seriously, very very very tired of getting sick. Tired of work and shit that happens at work. I'm tired of settling problems for other people and extrememely tired out from certain personal issues. Sometimes,I enjoy shopping alone or doing anything alone. Be it, reading magazines alone while waiting for my face mask to dry or shopping at the supermarket alone. Sometimes, I get so bloody cranky and irritated with my handphone that I don't bother charging it for the whole weekends and I don't even take my phone out when i'm out shopping or for dinner on the weekends.

As I grow older, I'm appreciating the simple and quiet things in life and doing whatever I like. I'm happy to have family members who showed concern and cared for each other. Frankly speaking, i'm not shy to say this but sometimes, I don't even remember having some of my family members around and there are times in my life that they're almost non-existent. However, this whole week has made me want to love them more and appreciate them more.

I've got admit that I'm bloody excited about this Saturday's family dinner. I can't wait to be there and have dinner with everyone and i've been thinking about it all night despite having a bad tummy and runs every hour lastnight...haha

Yesterday, after the funeral and everything was done , the whole family went back to Mama's house to listen to the will that Mama wrote. Everyone had a piece of mama's jewellery. Everyone had their chance to choose 2 pieces of mama's jewellery. I got mama's jade bangle and a gold ring with hearts engraved on it with four pieces of jade embedded to it on the top. It wasn't the jewellery that mattered or the value of it but it was something that reminded us of mama. My uncle said this to us, " When we piece all the jewellery together, it's like a whole piece of Mama."
and that truly meant alot to me.

I'm sorry for the super long post :) I just need to blog this down so when i'm older, I can always look back at all these memories. I'll upload the photos soon and i'm going to have my chee cheong fan that daddy bought cause i'm really sick in my tummy and no i'm not pregnant or something.

Anyways, it's back to office tomorrow.