I'm very devastated cause the doctor has said that she will only live till a week. Lastnight, I stayed up at the hospital staring at the woman whom I loved and cherished so much. I was doing my packing and cooking when I received a text to come down immediately as she might not live past tonight. She's the one who watched me grow up, the one who would check up on me and the one who stayed up all night to pray for each and everone of us.
The one who brought and held everyone together. I'm in denial and the last thing I want her to do is to leave me. I'm on the verge of breaking down each time I see her thin and fraile body covered in tubes.
Every memory starts hitting me and I'm feeling so depressed. This morning I received a text saying that the cancer cells have spread to her livers and intestines. What hurt me the most was she throwing up everything that was black in colour.
I'm very very sad as i'm very attached to her. I can't bear to let her go.She told the housekeeper that she was going home...Being a devoted christian, she knew that god was going to take her home.
Lastnight, she opened her eyes and said this to me ,"thankyou" and she closed her eyes. She looked so tired and weak. I'm on the verge of tearing myself apart and the last thing I can think of is her leaving me. She's always been there for me and she always tells me how much she loves me and she never evers stopped worrying for me...
Right now, I don't want anything or anyone. I just need her to be around for me.She said she wanted to see me get married and do well in my life and yet she's leaving me.
God,, i'm willing to do anything so that I can spend her last birthday with her...Please stop all the pain and vomiting and help her through.
I need to be left alone and I won't be answering any calls or messages unless there's a need to. I just need a break and sometime before I can pick myself up again...I'm really devastated and in shock. I'm using every bit of my time and energy to accompany her. My relatives have already stated doing the funeral plans.
Sometimes, I have everything, but deep down I realise that nothing beats having your family. Being together with them is something very priceless...
I'm going to shower up and go to the hospital ...I'll try my best not to cry infron t of her...The last thing I want her to do for me is to worry....
I'll be on hiatus for now till everything gets better....
Lots of love...
