Kai Kai Kai

EDITED!!

Had a small chat with Kai on MSN. You guys must be wondering like who the hell's Kai. Kai is also known as John. Long story but he's name is now Kai. I'm Jane and he's Kai. Haha...Anyways, Kai's busy and I swear I love Kai. He's an awesome buddy and bestie. I still remember the time he and I were chilling around at his place watching FINAL DESTINATION and we're still so close until now...I swear he's like the nicest boy...Ok not forgetting Gabby.Damn....haha...

Remember this drawing you drew of me and you?I swear I love you KAI!!How many more times do I have to repeat it....ah....

KAI,YOUR HOT TOO AND THANKS FOR TELLING MY ABOUT MY LEGS AND HAHA...I FIND YOU HOT TOO...AND YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.....BUT IT'LL BE SO WRONG IF WE KISS....OMG..LIKE I'LL HUGG YOU FOR SURE...LOVE YOU BUDDY

So yeah....I'm meeting the girls lata for dinner and i'm excited.Gonna dress down...Will most prolly wear a cap and some light makeup cause i'm too lazy and will most prolly mess up my hair...Gonna buy a trucker cap soon cause there are times when I just feel so sick and tired to tong my hair...Everyone's either busy at school or working and Phyphy is at home....Hmm,just managed to send in my resume to a few companies.I'm doing it for the sake of doing it...haha...

Can't wait for this Saturday and for baby to be back hommie...Gonna have fun with baby and I guess I need a tan too...I'm getting too fair and i'll prolly drag baby and we can slump at the pool together...or maybe go to Dezzy's place for a swim and sauna..I miss you Dezzy...Yr the most freaking awesome couzzy and please do stay over at my place again and we can play makeup and scream and dance or smth...hehe...I love it whenever you're around and when we shop and eat and bitch...I love you so much...mwacks...

Haha...

I stole these peeks from baby...

Baby, I love it when you spike yr hair and when you style it and when I ruffle yr hair in bed...I like it when you smile at me and tell me that everything will be alright. I love it when you pinch my cheeks and when you fluff up my hair...although i'll get upset when you smudge my makeup..

I like it when you choose my clothes for me and I like it when you shop with me...I love staring at you when you're sleeping...and I find you exceptionally cute when you knock out and I love it when you start cursing and swearing at those Fucked up drivers on the roads cause you're always the one telling me to control my temper...

I love it when we smile and tease each other...I'll always remember the times when you took care of me when I was high on alcohol and the times you danced with me in the club...

I'll always appreciate the times when you waited for me for 2-3 hours to do my makeup and get dressed for a simple dinner haha..and you'll always stare and give me that dazed face when I'm all dressed up..telling me that i'm just so perfect in your eyes...

I like it when you take me to all the nice foodie places and when you never ever complained that I binge like some starving prison kid. I love it when you kiss me on my cheeks and tell me that i'll always be your baby girl....

I appreciate it when you hear me out about my work...I never liked working in _ _____. You knew all my problems and everything that I faced and how I really did try..to do every fucking thing within such fucking short time....

Thanks Baby...

But...

But....

But...

I dislike it when you nag....

About the tattoos (I won't get it ok baby? or a small one..u want 1 too wad)... and the piercings (Just one on the naval?) ....

and the alcohol and the clubbing....(i've stopped..quite alot)

I've really put down everything and you know that....

I am not the Phy I was 4 years ago. I've changed and i've told you so many times....I really hate it when we quarrel (sometimes) and I'm giving up the crazy habbits...but Thanks for giving me time and thanks for always encouraging me....

But,I'm just so afraid what happened 4 years ago will happen again and I seriously doubt i'll ever smile again if you did that again...I'm serious....I just can't take any more setbacks in my love life...at least not from u....cause I know it'll hurt even when it's beginning to heal and I just wanna smile again...like how I deserve to....I know I should forgive and forget...but baby...all these 4 years of hoping and wishing, I finally bumped into you and got you back....but now....my heart just becomes so confused whenever I think about what happened in the past...it really does leave a scar....

All the late night crying and all the messy states I got myself into...All the hurt and the pain that made me feel that everything was all lost....Sometimes, when you tell me off that it's my fault for not getting over it, It hurts and makes me cry...cause baby, you've never felt what I had felt 4 years ago...

Terrible and miserable...and i'll always remember the time we bumped into each other four years later....Everything came to my mind...a nightmare or something that I should be happy??I didn't know....Even though I really loved you so much...there were so many things that you did that made me felt like you stabbed me in the heart every single time something happened....

I'm tired baby...I'll give it another shot.....I'll try to forget what happened...I know you're trying hard to makeup for all that you couldn't give for the past 4 years...So many things have changed...I missed the times, when we used to be in our school uniform and taking the bus together...I missed the times we had lunch together after school....

I know you're always trying to buy everything that I want and taking me to different places and telling me how much you love me...

I'll give it one more shot...

Just one more...

I guess no one will ever understand....

I'll still try to be a good gf...all the scrapbooks, the cards, the cooking....baby,they're all for you...You know that I will never spent hours cooking a pot of soup unless it's for you..You know i'm trying...

Hmm anyways, I got baby his Armani Exchange belt and he's got his Gucci Wallet now...Baby I hope you'll be happy...

Love love,Phyphy