Coming out of the Suitcase

I cooked Tomyam soup with seafood and mushrooms and not to forget fried spicy noodles. I'm so tired cause something happened lastnight and all I can remember is my crying and this morning I woke up with a huge big bump on my forehead and some cuts.

I'm feeling super tired and and i'm not sure if i'm going to leave my house today cause i'm kinda tired to dress up and all :)

Bestie boob uploaded this picture of me take a few roads across my place :) and me in my half drunken state :) I was drinking a pack of soymilk and bestie boob couldn't help but snap a pick of me haha...

oh and guess what ? I ended throwing up both the milk, jug of orange and tequila and my dinner.haha...I guess I was just too tired... anyways, i've been on certain projects and when everything's done i'll open it oficially.

It's just that i've been very very tired and worn out with too many things happening.

It's not even 3pm and i'm going to take my pills and sleep till tomorrow morning I guess..haha...oh and i'm might be getting another phone...Speaking of which, i'm really getting irritated with people telling me like how much I spend and i'm like such a brat?Damn you people should get it straight to your bloody head. I don't touch my parents money at all and I have a decent job just like everyone else. I don't bum around and whatever I have are either gifts or self bought.

Yes it's true that I might not be holding a job that pays me 10 , 000 a month but that doesn't mean the things I buy which are a lil costly are paid by my parents.

I am sake of people telling me like how pitiful my parents are, cause they have to support my addiction. Oh let me get it straight to your face!My parents are not the least bit pitiful and my mom doesn't even work .

I take my parents out and do almost everything and get them almost everything they like as a small gift from me. People, tell me things like ,"If I have a daughter like you, i'll be so sad" oh and to top it off, I told my dad that and you know what he said? He said," Tell them to talk to me if they ever say that again" My dad even wanted to give me credit card but I told him I don't need one when I can pay by bills in cash and by my own.

I'm also sake and tired of people telling me like I have boyfriends that buy me lots of things and drive me around like a brat. Let me clarify this to you people, I don't need a boyfriend to drive me around cause I can fucking afford cabs and I don't need to a boyfriend to buy me things cause i've buy most of my things myself. Thoe whole bloody point is that I do not rely on anyone and I'm happy as it is.

If you people have so much concern on how I spend my mone,I suggest that you guys to go and be some financial advisor for other people who need it more than I do and keep your mouths shut.

I' don't mean to blog about this here but i've got to rant out and not just keep quiet anymore.

I've been keeping a rather quiet and simple life lately as I am very busy and I need rest and space alone. I don't mind sharing my things or tips with people but I do not like it when people bombard me with the price and stuffs like that. Yes, I can spend almost $1000 + on my cosmetics but thats my business and I DO NOT OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION cause i'm just an average kid who wants more and who works hard. So get that into your bloody brain!

I'm just pissed and i'm going to have my binge food now to comfort the hell out of me.

Hv a great weekend :)

It's the weekends and I'm really tired and crappy cause I went partying with my bestie boop on Thursday till the morning and went to work after that and I'm really missing the loud music and crazy dancing...


Party was pretty alright haha :) The thing that puzzles me was the guys that danced with us. I danced with this really hot looking guy however, he was really short. Like super short but everything else about him rocked and danced four quite awhile before I got sick and tired of it and kinda felt like I was dancing with a lil kid...haha woops :P


Next, I met this guy who was really tall and pretty fit for his size however, he had this super blur and "duh" look, everytime, when I looked at him haha and soon , I got real real sick and tired ogf him...and we decided to leave while the guys went for smoke break...Oh and this is my first time not getting super super wasted at ___ cause I only had a jug of orange Juice and tequila.


The DJ kinda messed the night up a lil cause he was spinning sappy love breakup songs and sentimental songs? and not to forget Sesame Street theme song?Damn what the hell was he thinking? I seriously felt like I was gonna die in the club or something...


Anyways, the funniest thing was when we were in the toilet and this lesbian kept grabbing me and she even said that I was her girlfriend. Seriously i've got nothing against homo people and seriously I support them but this girl just ditz me off cause she was like super screaming and acting all guyish and stuffs.Damn...


Oh and bestie lost her cash on our way home and we stopped by to get cash and drinks and took a slow walk back. We looked like two homeless girls with party clothes haha...On our way back, there was this 2 guys riding and they passed by us. Shortly , they made a u-turn and they followed us back...When we were reaching my home, this guy came to us and asked for our numbers and I was seriously freaked out.We told him that we were not the least bit interested and bestie hailed a cab back to her place while I acted like nothing happened and walked off haha!!


These people never fail to amuse us...anyways, I forgot my camera and in the end, we only had a few pathetic peektures from my phone :( which obviously sucked...ha...I slept like only 2hours and went straight to office the next day.I was really glad that I didn't have a hangover or something but I was really tired and restless the whole day :(


Anyways, I've been shopping like crazy!!I'll post the pictures when i'm free :) and i'm so looking forward to having dinner next week at Merchant's court hotel with my grand aunt cause I really wanna buy her a good and yummy dinner and money doesn't really matter as long as she's happy :) and I can't wait to pass Aunty wen her belated birthday present which I got from Aldo and I'm really hoping she'll like it :)


Oh and I can't wait till August cause Carrot and I are most probably going to Hongkong or Langkawi so we're still planning and stuffs. I'm really excited cause I love holidays!Who doesn't?I can't wait to get my ass of and do nothing all day but just enjoy shopping and eating.


Anyways, i'm gonna go get showered and do my makeup cause i'm going out to grab groceries and we're cooking dinner :) oh and lastnight I had a craving and decided to have chinese food nearby with my family and I wacked on the sambal kangkong, hotplate tofu and of course sweet and sour meat :) i'm freaking eating like mad and i'm gonna satisfy my cravings by having bubble tea and ice cream laters :) and i'm so gonna use my sewing maching and alter my jeans tomorrow and shorten some dresses cause I like my dresses short... Miao!

Bestie boob and me half drunked and wracked from all that partying...Ciao!!

Phy is partying tonight...

Hugs and Kisses

Okays, i've had a long long week. Had dinner at mama's house lastnight. The food was awesome and we had prawns, chicken curry, stir fried veggie, seaweed chicken, Ayam buakulat. Seriously it was so sinful and yummy. I don't have any pictures though :(

Anyways, i'm looking forward to take Yeepoh out to dinner at Merchan't Court cause she likes the food there and seriously i'm looking forward to having a good and nice buffet with my grand aunt and myself. Just food and heart to heart talks :)

Anyways, here's a pic of me before I went out lastnight :)

Makeup I used :

FACE : ETUDE HOUSE BASE,PORE PUTTY,SMASHBOX PRIMER

CHEEKS : HELLO KITTY MAC BLUSHER IN FUN AND GAMES + MABELLINE ANGELFIT IN PEACH

EYES :BENEFIT LEMON AID PRIMER, HELLO KITTY PALETTE ( LUCKY TOM), MAD MINERAL GEL EYELINER

LIPS : MAC HEATHERETTE LIPSTICK IN AMPLIFIED ROSE AND MAJOLICA LIP GLOSS

HIGHLIGHTING + SHADING : SHISEIDO HIGHLIGHTER + AVERINE PRESSED POWDER IN LIGHT AND IVORY

I'm not a makeup professional but seriously the addiction is getting overwhelming...oh wells ... talking about makeup , i'm lemming for MAC sugar sweet collection and of course Channel's Makeup base :)

I'm going to cook dinner tonight and here's the menu :

Tiger prawns steamed with tofu and scallions

steamed melon soup

stir fried vegetables

fried eggs with onions

and i'm seriously going to drink a nice bottle of iced cold Peach bacardi.

haha... i'm seriously not an alcoholic but it's been a long long time since I had alcoholic drinks :)

Hv a great Sunday people :)

It's been a long and sad week for everyone in my family. Everything happened too fast and too quickly. Even though it was really sad, I realised that my family members stood by each other and everyone helped in whatever they could chip in. Everyone was sad and devastated by nevertheless everyone kept going on and made the funeral a memorable one.

I guess the worse and the saddest part , was seeing the coffin for the last time before it was being sent for cremation. It was really hard for me to face facts that mama was gone. Everything was too sudden. However, there's nothing to be sad now because this is temporary and like what the Uncle Robin said, " This is temporary and we will soon meet again with Mama."

I've told myself that the best thing to do now, is to fulfil as much as I can in life and when my time is up, the reward I'll get is to see Mama again. Despite , having almost everything I want, I can never deny the fact that life's a bitch. Shit happens everyday and to make it worse, at any time of the day. It can happen, when you're having the best time of your life and of course , even at times , when things couldn't get shittier.

But, no matter how shitty it is, I'm taking it in my stride. I'm seriously, very very very tired of getting sick. Tired of work and shit that happens at work. I'm tired of settling problems for other people and extrememely tired out from certain personal issues. Sometimes,I enjoy shopping alone or doing anything alone. Be it, reading magazines alone while waiting for my face mask to dry or shopping at the supermarket alone. Sometimes, I get so bloody cranky and irritated with my handphone that I don't bother charging it for the whole weekends and I don't even take my phone out when i'm out shopping or for dinner on the weekends.

As I grow older, I'm appreciating the simple and quiet things in life and doing whatever I like. I'm happy to have family members who showed concern and cared for each other. Frankly speaking, i'm not shy to say this but sometimes, I don't even remember having some of my family members around and there are times in my life that they're almost non-existent. However, this whole week has made me want to love them more and appreciate them more.

I've got admit that I'm bloody excited about this Saturday's family dinner. I can't wait to be there and have dinner with everyone and i've been thinking about it all night despite having a bad tummy and runs every hour lastnight...haha

Yesterday, after the funeral and everything was done , the whole family went back to Mama's house to listen to the will that Mama wrote. Everyone had a piece of mama's jewellery. Everyone had their chance to choose 2 pieces of mama's jewellery. I got mama's jade bangle and a gold ring with hearts engraved on it with four pieces of jade embedded to it on the top. It wasn't the jewellery that mattered or the value of it but it was something that reminded us of mama. My uncle said this to us, " When we piece all the jewellery together, it's like a whole piece of Mama."
and that truly meant alot to me.

I'm sorry for the super long post :) I just need to blog this down so when i'm older, I can always look back at all these memories. I'll upload the photos soon and i'm going to have my chee cheong fan that daddy bought cause i'm really sick in my tummy and no i'm not pregnant or something.

Anyways, it's back to office tomorrow.

Ciao!!

Dear mama,

I seriously hope that you're doing well now. Despite me being sad and overwhelmed, I'm happy that you no longer have to suffer. I'm very happy to have spent every of your last few seconds with you and to be able to hold your hand and be by yourside before you took your last breath.

I've never cried like how I cried today. The minute I knew you were gone, I felt like part of me was gone. You've always been there for me. Always worrying if I was alright and you never failed to tell me how proud you thought of me.

You would always be so happy to see everyone together and you would always put up a smiley face no matter how painful you felt. Every occasion, you would always be smiling and you would always embrace us in your warmth and love.

You would always put everyone before self and you never complained not once. I'll always remember the times we had together in the kitchen,baking cookies for christmas and you would always take me to church and buy everything that I wanted. The times, you would call to check up on me and if I had done my work and if I had studied.

Throughout the years, you would pray for everyone without fail every morning and no matter how down I was, you would tell me , not to give up and that god will always be with me. There are so many things I want to tell you.

I really can't sleep at all and i'm still awake and hoping you'll be by my side and you'll come back to see us anytime you feel like it. I'm missing you so much and i'm wishing you could hold my hand like how you used to, when I was a little girl. I was always your tiny favourite and i'll always remember you telling me that I was a good girl.

I'll promise to be there on your birthday and i'll spend sometime with you. I'll bring flowers for you and i'll chat up with you and spend time with you as often as I can. I promise you that i'll take good care of Ah yee and i'll spend time with her and keep her accompanied no matter how busy I am.

I know somehow, you'll still be watching over us and keeping us safe. I hope you'll show us and give us signs of your presence and speak to us.I love you always and you'll always live close and deep to my heart. I'll miss you so deeply and I hope you won't blame me for crying....Thankyou for everything you've done. I won't be selfish and let you suffer anymore.....

**I'm truly depressed about what happened and still in shock at the hospital as we were informed of her death too late and too wrong as the hospital staff made a mistake. It's too late to blame anyone but I know deep down that she left very peacefully. I need a break and will be uncontactable on my cell for quite sometime. I'll be doing the arrangements for the funeral and a big thankyou for all who have given your well wishes.

No one can ever understand how important she is to me and no one will ever understand the sadness and pain that i'm going through. Life still goes on but I guess I need time, to get over everything. No one will understand , what I went through when I found out she was gone while I was there and no one will know how much i'm grieving deep inside.

All I can say is that life is very short. Live it to the fullest without any regrets and live it well. Cherish the people you have around you because you'll never know when they'll be gone....

Love, Phy

I'm very devastated cause the doctor has said that she will only live till a week. Lastnight, I stayed up at the hospital staring at the woman whom I loved and cherished so much. I was doing my packing and cooking when I received a text to come down immediately as she might not live past tonight. She's the one who watched me grow up, the one who would check up on me and the one who stayed up all night to pray for each and everone of us.

The one who brought and held everyone together. I'm in denial and the last thing I want her to do is to leave me. I'm on the verge of breaking down each time I see her thin and fraile body covered in tubes.

Every memory starts hitting me and I'm feeling so depressed. This morning I received a text saying that the cancer cells have spread to her livers and intestines. What hurt me the most was she throwing up everything that was black in colour.

I'm very very sad as i'm very attached to her. I can't bear to let her go.She told the housekeeper that she was going home...Being a devoted christian, she knew that god was going to take her home.

Lastnight, she opened her eyes and said this to me ,"thankyou" and she closed her eyes. She looked so tired and weak. I'm on the verge of tearing myself apart and the last thing I can think of is her leaving me. She's always been there for me and she always tells me how much she loves me and she never evers stopped worrying for me...

Right now, I don't want anything or anyone. I just need her to be around for me.She said she wanted to see me get married and do well in my life and yet she's leaving me.

God,, i'm willing to do anything so that I can spend her last birthday with her...Please stop all the pain and vomiting and help her through.

I need to be left alone and I won't be answering any calls or messages unless there's a need to. I just need a break and sometime before I can pick myself up again...I'm really devastated and in shock. I'm using every bit of my time and energy to accompany her. My relatives have already stated doing the funeral plans.

Sometimes, I have everything, but deep down I realise that nothing beats having your family. Being together with them is something very priceless...

I'm going to shower up and go to the hospital ...I'll try my best not to cry infron t of her...The last thing I want her to do for me is to worry....

I'll be on hiatus for now till everything gets better....

Lots of love...

I kinda overslept today. Just woke up and feeling really sleepy. Anyways, we went to town again and this time I went to DFS at Scotts to get my second tub of lip conditioner from MAC. I'm lemming on all the other collections and seriously my makeups have come to more than $****. haha...Dad supports me to learn makeup.

Anyways, the other day, I met up with Kai and Sasa. The initial plan was to have dinner at Arab street and smoke sheesha.However,Kai, being a healthy and super fit ( who gyms so frequently) woke up my bloody idea and text me this , " Phy, it's flavoured Tabacco." haha..so I got the whole point. Anyways, we went to Newton Circus istead :)

Oh boy did we order more than enough....

We had Satay, murtabak,mee goreng,oyster omelette, sambal kangkong, fried rice, kai's noodles ... Definitely a great meal and everything seems so complete when I have the two most loved people around :)

Anyways, i'll let the peekstures do the talking for me :)

Sasha and her drinks :)

Kai Kai and Me...Pardon the sleepy face..I rushed from office...

I love my biatch...Clubbing soon?

Kai & I ... we're not together..haha....Sasa made up hold hands hah!!

I miss the big group that we used to have. The old days when we would skip school together and hangout at Kai's place. The times, we skipped holiday classes and nearly got expelled from school and the times we fought...

I'll miss the happy times and the sad times we had...The ones that made my school life complete and the ones who were always there for me. Kai, who accompanied me the time when I was really sick and Sasha who was always there for me when I cried and brokedown. The one who accompanied me to get my bitch hair done and the one who would club and psycho me to smoke sheesha and SKL.

No matter how shitty life is, I guess it's really a good thing to have people who love you...for who you are...

Talking,about shitty, I've seriously been eating lots of junk. Try having Burger King for 4 days in a row. I've got to start forcing myself to eat, cause i'm super shrinking. While other girls are battling to lose weight, i'm struggling to put on weight. I'm sick and tired of Topshop not carrying enough sizes for people like me! Damn...

Anyways, here are some of my new recent loots besides the Hello Kitty collection :)

-Dress from mommy

- Black button down dress and lacy stuffs

-Cigrette case & light from Sasa (I don't smoke tho so i'm using this as my card holder)

Above :- My loots with toothy tan :)

-Garnier Night peeling cream ( i've nt really used it so i'll do a review later)

-Taiwan VIVI magazine

-BodyShop Skincare set (for Mommy)

-Magic peeling cream from Etude ( Swear by this )

-Skinfood Ginko BB cream ( My 2nd tube)

-Loreal Night serum ( which I so bloody love now!!)

-Majorica mascara 3rd generation (Not available in Singapore)

-Etude Orgel highlighter

-Coral lipstick from Rimmel ( My current loves after reading all the raves)

-Eucerin cleanser

-Top from Mango

-Etude shimmer Eyestick

- Cheek patch mask from Skinfood :)

I'll do my makeup reviews soon :) anyways, help me to click on my ads and have a great weekend people !!

Ciao and ignore the plaster on my arm :)

okays, i've only got Fifteen minutes to blog cause i've got to prepare to head out to DFS to get my makeup. I've decided to buy another tub of the lip conditioner from M.A.C....Here's are some of my Hello Kitty makeups which I bought :)

It was really crowded and almost lots of the items were sold out :) and I so thank-god that I managed to pre-order my stuffs :)

From top, is the HelloKitty bag which you'll get if you spend more than $120.

Blusher: Fun & Games $38

Eyeshadow pallet : Lucky Tom $69

Lip Condition : Popster $28

I'm thinking of getting either Popster/Pinkfish :)

I'm such a brat. Anyways, I'll update later and i'm so thinking of getting a car once I get my effin" licence. Sick and still sick of the buses and trains....Enjoy yr weekends :)

Ciao!!

Wanna see kai kai and Shasha?

Stay Tuned for more gossip and tons of pictures :)